Growing up in a small Northwestern town with very few people of color, Gabby had always struggled to find an identity. Feeling out of place and uncomfortable anywhere she went, art became her escape. When the time came to choose a college and a career, she new for certain she wanted out of her small town, but struggled to take the leap and major in art. Not really knowing what she wanted to do as a career, but knowing she wanted out of her small town, Gabby chose a large liberal arts University in a city far from her Northwestern town.
At her first few weeks on campus, Gabby was at first inspired and overcome with ideas and productivity. But, as the weeks went on, her lack of confidence took center stage. Self-doubt got the better of her, and she knew she needed a project to keep herself busy. She decided to lean into her discomfort rather than run away from it, and started a series of portraits of students from around campus.
Through hours of interviews and taking photographs, Gabby was left with a strange longing that she wasn't expecting. This project left her wondering what it was like to know exactly what you want and where you fit in. She was surprised at just how confident and self-assured her subjects were. Gabby could not relate to such confidence and conviction. As she was moving her subjects from camera lens to cotton canvas, she got this strange feeling that they could see her, the real her, and know she was an imposter. At first they whispered, but then it became a collective chant shouted through their gaze: "You are not a real artist."
When seeing their completed portraits, students were surprised to see the oculus had been removed. Through removing the gaze, Gabby showcased both her own insecurity and the blind optimism experienced by her subjects. Optimism about the respect their credentials will yield. Optimism about the financial situation that awaits them upon graduation. Optimism about the world in which they find themselves dwelling. Gabby felt it necessary to remove the gaze to silence the overwhelming effects of imposter syndrome. Through removal of the gaze, Gabby feels connected on a deep beyond the surface.
